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What Do You Do When You and Your Senior Don’t Get Along?

Not every caregiving relationship is a loving one. Some are extremely complex.

Sometimes relationships aren’t what you want them to be, even after a lot of time and work. This can be the case with your senior family member, which can make being her caregiver that much more difficult. Here’s what you can try.

Lots of Family Relationships Are Complicated

Elder Care Greer, SC: When You and Your Senior Don’t Get Along

It’s no surprise that families have history and that history can be murky and complex. You and your senior may not have the best relationship, for one reason or another, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need help now. What you have to decide is how much and what you can do for her and whether it’s emotionally and mentally safe for you to do so.

Why Are You Choosing to Be Her Caregiver?

Ask yourself why you’re choosing to be your senior’s caregiver. There may be some very good reasons. Or you might find yourself floundering to explain the situation. What’s important is that you understand those reasons, whatever they are. For instance, some caregivers deep down believe that if they give and give some more that their family members will finally see how much they care.

Odds Are that the Situation Isn’t Going to Change

It’s really important that if your reasons aren’t realistic, like you believe your elderly family member will finally come around and do the right thing, you’re likely not going to see what you want to see. It’s one thing to be her caregiver because it’s just the right thing for you to do. It’s another entirely to believe that your senior is going to completely turn things around.

Compassionate Detachment Is Your Best Tool

When you’re attached to something, you have expectations. Those expectations, especially in your situation as a caregiver, are unlikely to be met which is going to lead to disappointment and upset. Detaching in a compassionate manner is your best option for continuing to be a caregiver and still take care of yourself. Learning to do this is not always easy, but it is possible.

Something you may find along your journey is that you need to step even farther back in order to protect yourself. There’s nothing wrong at all with hiring elder care providers to handle the daily care of your senior and managing her affairs from farther away. This allows you to continue to be her caregiver, but to do so in a way that is emotionally safer for you.


If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring elder care  near Greer, SC, contact Heart of the Carolinas Home Care at 864-991-3116. Providing Home Care Services in Greenville, Simpsonville, Greer, Anderson, Spartanburg, Mauldin, Seneca, Laurens, Charleston, Columbia and the surrounding areas.

Edward Harrison

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